Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Goodwill: The Good, the Bad and the Tawdry

Yes, you had me at tawdry. I meant to post this for Valentine's Day, but lost momentum. Okay, you've sensed it, I confess! I cheated on Valentine's Day. I went to a secret assignation while my husband was flyfishing. I'm weak and I want to come clean. I drove to a non-descript motel and met Sebastian in a small room with no windows. But here's the rub -- Sebastian was just not that into me. I could tell because he kept scratching to get out the door. He wouldn't look me in the eye. And the worst of it was, he wouldn't even wag his little long-haired dachshund tail. I gave him back to the shelter volunteer and he jumped in her arms. It wasn't meant to be. Was I overly eager? I wore my best red and white dachshund sweater. Did I seem too needy? I sang songs from Phantom of the Opera off key. Did he know about Elvis and Gidget? They had shed all over me before I met him. In the end, it's always about chemistry, and Sebastian and I were like two inert substances not meant to spark. Now all I can do is think of his pointy face and hum that song from The Way We Were. Pathetic.
  Chemistry is a fickle thing. Sometimes I think it's there when I buy things from Goodwill, and later it turns out it was chemistry -- I was low on meds that day. Here are three things that later turned out to be prizes, booby prizes and shameful closet secrets.
  The first is a $2 tie rack I had been searching for to hang my necklaces. It works like a dream.

The second is a pink shirt I bought because the embroidery was so well done. The Peptobismal shade is bad with my pale freckled skin, and I hate V necks on me. But the French knot embroidery was so good it belonged on an antique sampler. Not on me.

The third is the tawdry. There's a place for tawdry, and not just in Amsterdam's Red Light District or Mariah Carey's closet. Dolly Parton once said It costs alot to look this cheap." She was wrong, it only cost $5 at Goodwill. This is a fun one because you can wear it under something very sensible and feel like you are cheating, even if you're not visiting a dog at the pound on the sly.

2 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I love your wittily and wickedly entertaining blog, I see success underpricing your door as we speak. How can you not love Dachshunds and Dolly? But the no windows was chicken. Can you get me a Willie Nelson bolo tie and a Pee-Wee Herman doll?

    Duke of Schmegg

    ReplyDelete

I welcome your comments, posts, horoscopes and Freudian analyses. Photos are welcome. Also, sign up as a follower (it's easy -- look to your left.) oxox Jeri