Breakfast at Tiffany's, Lunch at Goodwill, $$ left over for Valentine Dinner

 Valentine's Day is like a hologram. Some years you look at it and it's all shiny and littered with little Brach's Conversation Hearts and tiny paper cards in your milk carton Valentine box, and you rifle through them and YES, there is one from your third grade crush, Ricky Batesole, even if his mother signed it because everyone knows Ricky can't read or write yet, but he rules at Red Rover. Other years, you look at it and -- meh -- it's treacly and sticky and the cards are all sappy and $4.99, and you go into See's Candies for inspiration and buy candy, but then they give you one sample and it turns out to be... a Rum Nougat instead of a California Brittle, and you sit on the curb outside and eat it anyway and carry that fake rum flavour around all day.

 

It's a schizophrenic holiday, and Holly GoLightly

would have no part of it. She was too cool and thin to eat Rum Nougat or fawn over trinkets. She made "no-name slob" sound glamorous:

 

“Holly: I'll never let anyone put me in a cage!

Paul: I don't wanna put you in a cage, I wanna love you.
Holly: Same thing!
Paul: No it's not, Holly--
Holly: I'm not Holly! I'm not Lula Mae either. I don't know who I am. I'm like Cat here. We're a couple of no-name slobs. We belong to nobody, and nobody belongs to us. We don't even belong to each other.”

 

Who doesn't love Breakfast at Tiffany's (and I don't mean that cheap rip off of a song by Deep Blue Something or Other, and I remember we all Kinda Hated it). On Valentine's Day, the Empress wishes that Truman Capote were alive and spoke to her in his best high pitched Southern  voice, "Sugar, I only buy the finest thangs, and I will simply die if you don't let me take you to Goodwill for an iconic bracelet for your very ladylike wrist." Because San Francisco would welcome Truman with open arms and Mint Juleps, and SF Goodwill would have the perfect item for the Empress on V-Day, a Tiffany's bracelet at a Goodwill price:

Here's the link, just click and bid : SF Goodwill Tribute to Truman Capote http://cgi.ebay.com/Tiffany-Co-Engraved-Heart-Tag-Charm-Link-Bracelet-/230584162535?pt=Designer_Jewelry&hash=item35afe318e7

Go out and have a lovely Valentine's Day with your partner, your pal or your pet. And if you see Ricky Batesole, tell him I said "hey." 

P.S. On second thought rip Ricky's lungs out for me. I just remembered that he fed my pet hamster to his pet snake, and this is not acceptable even on Valentine's Day. If you are reading this, Ricky, you are a pig and we will get you when we have the show trials.

Does the Empress Go Bottomless? Inquiring minds want to know.

Persons reading this blog (and I use the plural case loosely) may have noticed that the Empress only posts photos of thrift items that adorn the Empress' bodice or neck, with an occasional tunic or dress (or tawdry teddy). A question arises as to the nether regions of the Empress, and whether they have coverage. My readers have been too shy to raise this question.

 Wait, since I am apparently baring all to you, let me be honest here: no one has raised this question, possibly because my regular readership consists of The Empress and her two doxie assistants (I read it aloud to them and we all have a good chuckle/snort, though they look quizzical when I say that I am a dogged shopper). And while I'm on a truth-telling binge, the Empress has purchased fabulous things for the lower 40 acres. Until now, she has not posted them because her dress form has a steel rod where legs should be. [Insert off color joke of our choice here] Here is Mimi:

 The Empress could don these bottom items and somehow take photos of herself from the waist down, but what right-minded woman would do so? Our Bodies, Ourselves never told us in our 20's that childbirth, gravity and a diet heavy in Cheetos and chocolate chip cookie dough would mold our hind sides like play doh into unrecognizable shapes. The answer: two dimensional photos of the great pants and shoes I have found, less the flesh and blood that distends their shapes. Here are Marc Jacobs pants and AG jeans I found in Goodwill boutiques:

Here are my favorite AG jeans (retail $160) Goodwill: $15

Shoes: I bought these Tory Burch flats online at shopgoodwill.com:

These are beautiful embossed boots for my daughter. Again, shopgoodwill.com.

I bought these form fitting Weitzman boots on sfgoodwill's site on ebay:

I have more items but I promised a shorter blog, so I will save them for next time. So now you know, the Empress sports full coverage, so as not to scare the dogs and tots staring up at her as she greets the little people of her empire.