The Empress of Thrift Suffers Dive Bends on Splash-Down in the Retail World

       Did it fly by for you? In the Goodwill Six-Month Challenge, the Empress undertook to buy only non-profit-benefitting thrift items from Oct. 1, 2009 to March 31, 2010.  As usual, the Empress had a mixed motive: (1) to show her subjects how she could spend less and be fashionable (which means "looking better than a hot mess") and (2) to promote her relentless and annoying quest to be "holier than thou" (a quality she had hoped to give up for Lent.) If you do not moonlight as an astronaut, you might not know that re-entry into earth's atmosphere is not pretty: the gases in the lungs and GI tract expand, the moisture in  the mouth and eyes quickly boils away, there is severe sunburn, and  some parts of the body swell to twice their usual size. 

A NASA altitude chamber     When the Empress opened the rubber sealed glass door at the indoor mall, she thought she could live with most of those effects: she'd need the expanded gases to breathe deeply, the boiled away mosture meant she could skip bathroom breaks, and the mall was a hermetically sealed chamber so sunburn would be minimal. But SWELLING TO TWICE HER SIZE? How would she buy those True Religion white, stretch jeans with the iPad in their pocket? It was so unfair -- she hadn't even been to Hot Dog on a Stick and she was lurching through the perfume counters like the Sta-Puft Marshmallow Man.

   She had to get out, and fast. She gallumphed past the  salesclerks, the kiosk barkers, Bloomingdales, Nordstrom, Forever 21 (that was especially painful) and drove to Goodwill, where she found this New-With-Tags Rodarte' dress for her lovely offspring.

     To gain back her buying moxie,  she needed consumer confidence.


*The Empress realized that she needed to summon her patron saint of shopping, St. Elda Erickson, who taught her to thrift, sew, darn, and goshdarnit, look up words she didn't know before using them aloud to embarrass herself. Thank you, Mom.

Sometimes a jacket is just a jacket, sometimes it's an exercise in physics...

This jacket is Looks 10, Warmth 3. It is cotton pin-striped, with a metallic embroidery running around in random and planned places -- the edge of the collar, yes. The flower by the dart, what? The back has a beautiful embroidered area down the center (see below). The best part is inside, where a quote from Einstein, yes of Einstein fame, is embroidered: "We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them." I like this Mobius-strip of philosophy. When I wear this jacket, I have to brave the weather so I can take it off, turn it inside out and drape it theatrically over a chair to show off the quote. Not a mean feat, I advise plenty of yoga and Tiger Balm before and after. 

Let's go Thriftin...

Come along with me to rifle the racks and rummage through the goods at Goodwill and other thrift stores. If you find something you like, please post it. Our blog operators are in place and waiting for your post.

Sometimes it's best to stick with an icon...

Do I need a jacket for every occasion? Probably not, but I found so many I liked at thrift stores that I need to move to a cooler climate (not too cool -- I still haven't found a perfect North Face parka). The foggy chill in the Bay Area gives me the chance to wear my pea coat, khaki double-breasted coat, and my Vintage brown 40's jacket to walk the dogs or sit in Tosca's bar. But (and as Pee Wee Herman said, there's always a big But) I still love Levi. And it was hard to find. And it is not the classic collar and button version. But it is denim with a red tag and a cowgirl fit, so I am happy to have it.

I wouldn't pay retail, but...

Sometimes I buy something for under $5 because I like it even though I know it might be fugly to others. Sometimes I wear it and people actually compliment me on it. They might actually like it, or they just want to say something nice because my chin is broken out like a relief map that day. I still feel good and enjoy wearing it. This is one of those pieces. It's a thin wool by Lilith with a funky asymmetrical vibe. You decide -- is it chic or am I breaking out again?