The Empress of Thrift: The Empress of Thrift Wants to be Your Personal Shopper

The Empress lives to serve... usually her own self-interests. But at this Time of the Year, she gets infected by Holiday Madness (it's rife in the royal lineage due to a Jerry Lee Lewis style marriage back in the Empire's fin-de-sicle era). Holiday Madness means royal agoraphobia, in the real Greek sense of FEAR OF MALLS. However, the Empress does not fear Greeks bearing gifts, or anyone bearing gifts (especially Wes, her Knight of the Order of UPS) -- she shamelessly loves presents and hoarding, a perfect synergy for empire building.

Gabba Gabba blah blah, will the Empress ever stop talking about herself and help you shop? Did Grandma get run over by the Grinch who stole the leg lamp? Yes, here is her secret: shop the eBay site for San Francisco Goodwill (and San Mateo and Marin) at http://stores.ebay.com/Goodwill-San-Francisco?_trksid=p4340.l2563 http://stores.ebay.com/Goodwill-San-Francisco?_trksid=p4340.l2563. But only if you like one or more of the following: Hermes ties, Coach purses, St. John knits, Ugg boots, vintage casserole dishes, Taxco silver earrings, a mural painted on a femur (actually featured on another Goodwill's site), or anything your gift list wants, needs or can't live without.

For the next week or so, as your lack of time and the the impending holidays combine to make you guzzle Peppermint Schnapps for breakfast, take a break and look at some of the amazing gifts available at SF Goodwill's eBay site, and do not be afraid, SF Goodwill offers Expedited Shipping for delivery by December 21, and allows returns for two weeks -- so there is no risk of empty-handedness or gift disappointment.

Today's recommendations:

For the non-hipster vintage-lovin' young'un:

Classic Dooney-Bourke Satchel Purse (RL Polo shirt and high-waisted slacks not included)

http://www.ebay.com/itm/Dooney-Bourke-Black-And-Brown-Leather-Satchel-Shoulder-Purse-/230714358081?pt=US_CSA_WH_Handbags&hash=item35b7a5b941

For the Man of the house or the House (goodbye gift to Barney Frank?)

Hermes Pink Dolphin Porpoise Jockey Sealife Silk Print Tie (Jockeys riding Dolphins? (Hieronymus Bosch wants his idea back)

http://www.ebay.com/itm/Hermes-Pink-Dolphin-Porpoise-Jockey-Sealife-Silk-Print-Tie-5241-/230714358068?pt=US_Mens_Ties&hash=item35b7a5b934

For your relatives in Fargo who can still rock an awesome Hot Dish for the Church Supper:

Vintage Pyrex Town and Country Bowls

http://www.ebay.com/itm/Vintage-Pyrex-3-Tab-Handled-Bowls-Lids-Town-Country-Box-Yellow-Orange-/350513490369?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item519c3b69c1

For the friend who wants jewelry that will give them cred at both MoMa and LitCrawl:

The Thomas Mann Signed Techno Romantic Mixed Metals Adjustable Necklace Hear Star (Actual description -- who knew Thomas Mann was alive and making jewelry on the Magic Mountain?)