The Empress Goes Undercover: Improve Your Spy Tradecraft with Gifts from SF Goodwill's eBay site

Hi Everyone, I am the Empress of Thrift and I am a [insert current obsession]-holic. I have an addict's passion for select things:

• Dog ramps for older shuffling dachshunds on anti-anxiety meds

• Heavy cream left over from Thanksgiving for coffee

• Community, the TV show not the concept (the Empress likes a quiet castle)

• the complete works of John Le Carre.

Today was supposed to be TTSS Day in America. The day that the movie of Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy was to be released here, but that was just a mass deception. The sad truth is that TTSS is in LIMITED release in NY and LA, even though San Francisco is the best loved city on earth. (See Wikipedia: "Geographical Narcissism and Delusions of Grandeur in Aging Royalty).

So instead of sitting through repeated showings of TTSS, the Empress will share some spy tools from the SF Goodwill eBay site that will allow you to play your own role as lamp-lighter, scalp-hunter or mole.

To get in shape to be a "pavement artist" and follow that suspicious neighbor:

A WII remote control to inspire you to walk the 3 miles to the nearest big box store and buy a WII Fit.

http://www.ebay.com/itm/Wii-Remote-Plus-Wireless-Controller-Built-in-MotionPlus-Black-w-Silicon-Jacket-/290644178885?pt=Video_Games_Accessories&hash=item43abbe37c5

To disguise yourself as a harmless cafe-sitting, Baileys sipping sort of Irish lad or lassie:

http://www.ebay.com/itm/Set-4-Vintage-Loews-Hotels-Irish-Coffee-Mugs-Hall-Advertising-Brown-White-/350513923450?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item519c42057a

Fluevog! Because they are such beautiful shoes! Also, under Poe's Purloined Letter strategy (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Purloined_Letter), no one will suspect you are a spy because a spy would never wear these attention getting boots.

http://www.ebay.com/itm/John-Fluevog-Forest-Green-Brushed-Silver-Buckled-Platform-Boots-Size-7-5-/290644211952?pt=US_Women_s_Shoes&hash=item43abbeb8f0

Distract your prey with dazzling, confusing jewelry -- is this a dog? Why does it have a muffin on its head and a see-through torso? See? I'm distracted already.

http://www.ebay.com/itm/Vintage-Gold-Tone-and-Faux-Pearl-Signed-Brooks-Poodle-Dog-Brooch-Pin-Puppy-/350513923552?pt=Vintage_Costume_Jewelry&hash=item519c4205e0

To go undercover at Newt's campaign headquarters. Nixon perfected dirty tricks, maybe you can uncover more by wearing a jolly hat-tipping elephant tie into Mr. G's inner circle.

http://www.ebay.com/itm/Brooks-Brothers-Blue-Elephant-Republican-Hat-Handmade-USA-Silk-Print-Tie-/230714949821?pt=US_Mens_Ties&hash=item35b7aec0bd

To escape quickly from a dangerous situation. I'm pretty sure you could use this as a weapon, or the moonstone might work as a metaphorical portal back to MI5 headquarters.

http://www.ebay.com/itm/925-Sterling-Silver-and-Square-Moonstone-Ring-Size-8-11-2-Grams-/350513923694?pt=US_Fine_Rings&hash=item519c42066e

Keep Shopping, and be careful out there. The Empress' wealth is tied up in the Caymans, so she won't be making bail for you.